When I die what will I find

 

When I die what will I find

Written 1997

When I die what will I find - I will miss those left behind; lots of tears as I return to those loved ones I knew before I was born. Joy and sorrow, pain and laughter will be with me as I'm again looked after.

Never to taste rebirth, but will I have achieved those dreams I dreamt which were so painstakingly planned before my return to Earth to do this and that but what if I could not, how will I feel once more as I see that record of my life as I tune into my Akaskic Book, facts and figures, distant dreams were all a part of my life to be, but I'm afraid I won't live up to Thee.

Long ago memories, lives long since lived, which once again are no longer hid, for my vision it sees all that which once was, and has been, and I have to re-tune my life to that to come, but how can I not follow The Son.

The Sun itself gives of its best, and so as before I feel so blessed, so I look to the future, the past is within, for to go on now is the purpose I've seen. My life begins again and onward I will go whilst at the same time I await those on Earth who once more I will know when their time is ended and a new journey begins, for step by step we will travel as we once more go forward to tomorrow.

If only those left behind could see how very easy the future will be and how close are their loved ones long since departed for at some future time and place never will they be parted.

Sometimes I feel my life here is a dream, nothing is quite as it would seem, there is so much unseen, that if I knew, would help my having been.

Returned did I to that difficult planet Earth which so many times have I been since my birth. Blue, purple, yellow and green, just some of the colours at my birth to which ever more belongs to that golden time when The Father and me were as one.

My Ray carried me down as it had done before much more than I thought from all the folklore, but at my ending my Ray will carry me away far and above the stars and way beyond Mars to a distant and far off place that is my home and from where this next time I shall stay, happy and bright to see again that Light - my homeland does beckon, there is no going back, but I only worry about what I did lack and how many of my dreams became reality - was my mission and plan a success?

Today it is too early to say for tomorrow has to come a thousand and more times. 

So each day is planned in one way or another which I will share with my sister and brother as they guide from above with humility and love, for they will know before me and so will be ready to greet my return home however quick or unexpected it may be as their eyes and being see much more than myself for those veils are still there even though I do care - keeping me sad.

Time may be a healer to ease my pain, but what if nothing ever seems the same. For age it has come and I am far from The Son and my journey seems hardly to have begun as I look back over the years of my life since I entered this world of both joy and strife and I am left once more with just an emptiness that even time cannot quite erase.

But I must go forward strong in my faith, positive in my belief that there is a right time for me however much it may appear not to be, that one day, one place, I will once again be aware of His Grace.

The joy of returning will give renewed strength, and so I will go forward once again to The Father - for at last those veils are removed and I only see The Sun.

The Son and The Father together they beckon, while my Father and my Mother so too do they glisten; the steps towards home are stronger and brighter, nothing can hamper my view, and that is a wonderful hue, of love, light and remembrance, as I journey before arriving once again Home.

Pat Grabham

3 March, 1997.